How NOT to Make a Deal with a Wicked Prince: A Survival Guide (Inspired by Once Upon a Broken Heart)

So, you’ve decided to make a deal with a morally ambiguous immortal. Bold choice! Let’s check your survival chances…

If fantasy romance novels have taught us anything, it’s that making a bargain with a roguishly charming, possibly heartless prince never ends well. But we can’t help ourselves, can we? There’s something thrilling about a dangerous deal, a little whispered promise that could change everything—until, of course, it all spirals wildly out of control.

Exhibit A: Evangeline Fox, the heroine of Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber. Desperate to stop the love of her life from marrying someone else, she strikes a bargain with Jacks, the infamous Prince of Hearts. In exchange for his help, she agrees to give him three kisses. Simple, right? Wrong. Turns out, Jacks has much bigger plans, and Evangeline quickly learns that dealing with an immortal is a surefire way to end up in a whirlwind of curses, betrayals, and deadly magic (source: The Story Sanctuary).

But fear not! If you ever find yourself in a Once Upon a Broken Heart-style predicament, we’ve put together the ultimate survival guide. Let’s dive in before any wicked princes come knocking.

Survival Tips for Fantasy Romance Bargainers

(Or, How to Avoid Kissing Your Way Into Disaster—Literally.)

Tip #1: Know What You’re Trading (Spoiler: It’s Never Just a Kiss)

Evangeline made the classic rookie mistake: assuming “three kisses” meant three normal kisses. Oh, sweet summer child. When a fate-cursed prince makes a deal, there’s always fine print—and trust me, it’s written in disappearing ink.

The moment Jacks cashed in his first kiss, Evangeline realized she wasn’t the one controlling the terms. He dictated the where, when, and who—leading to some truly chaotic moments, including a kiss that sparks a prophecy and, well… a lot of regret (source: Bookish Wayfarer).

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen perilous bargains in fantasy romance. Remember The Cruel Prince by Holly Black, where Jude quickly regrets making deals with fae royalty? Or A Curse So Dark and Lonely, where Harper gets pulled into an enchanted realm thanks to a cursed prince? Moral of the story: always assume magical contracts come with devastating loopholes.

Survival Punchline: Always read the magical fine print. Yes, even if the prince has distractingly good hair.

Tip #2: Don’t Trust a Pretty Face (Especially If He’s the Prince of Hearts)

Jacks. Ah, Jacks. Handsome, clever, tragic, and utterly incapable of making good life choices. He’s got that whole swoon-worthy, bad-boy energy, but let’s be real: the red flags are everywhere.

Red Flags Your Immortal Crush is Trouble:

• His idea of a romantic gesture involves changing your fate (without asking).
• He has a long history of leaving destruction (and broken-hearted maidens) in his wake.
• He gives you cryptic warnings like, “You shouldn’t trust me.” (Hello? That’s your cue to RUN.)
• His hobbies include curses, emotional sabotage, and making himself look annoyingly irresistible.

Evangeline learns the hard way that Jacks seduces with charm but operates with an agenda. And listen, we love a morally gray love interest (looking at you, Cardan from The Cruel Prince), but dating one? That’s another story entirely (source: Flavia the Bibliophile).

Survival Punchline: When he says, “I’ll fix your problems,” but his résumé says “Professional Disaster Maker,” you might be in trouble.

Tip #3: Expect the Unexpected (Like a Wedding-Crashing Vampire or Two)

Evangeline thought she was making a simple bargain—to stop a wedding. Instead, she got:

• A journey filled with dangerous magic,
• A deadly vampire prince,
• A prophecy that might doom her,
• And uh, just a tiny bit of murder (source: The Story Sanctuary).

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from Once Upon a Broken Heart—and books like From Blood and Ash or ACOTAR—it’s that the universe LOVES chaos. The moment you think you have a plan? BOOM. Magic, destiny, and some ancient curse show up to laugh in your face.

Basically, if an immortal offers to “help” you, don’t expect a straightforward transaction. Expect chaos.

Survival Punchline: There’s no such thing as a small magical favor. Prepare for dragons, curses, or vintage prophecies with really inconvenient timing.

Oops, I Did It Anyway: How to Recover

(For When You’ve Already Kissed the Cursed Prince and It’s Too Late.)

So, hypothetically speaking, you ignored all our warnings and made the bargain anyway. Now what? Here’s your guide to (maybe) surviving:

• Apologize to any magical creatures you may have accidentally angered. (Bringing baked goods never hurts.)
• Stock up on anti-curse potions. (Or, failing that, wine. Lots of wine.)
• Find a sarcastic sidekick. They’ll make fun of you non-stop but will absolutely help you survive.
• Don’t fall in love. (Who are we kidding? You already did.)

Much like Evangeline, you might find yourself swept up in betrayals, magic, and romance you didn’t sign up for (source: Bookatino).à

Survival Punchline: At this point, just lean into the drama. Bonus points if you deliver dramatic one-liners while wearing an absurdly beautiful gown.

Which Fantasy Romance Deal-Maker Are You?

(Time for some self-reflection!)

Your love interest is about to marry someone else. You…

A) Write sad poetry and move on.
B) Accidentally summon a demon.
C) Strike a deal with a morally gray prince.

Your answer says a lot about your survival chances.

• A: Congratulations, you’re the rare smart person in fantasy romance.
• B: Oops, you belong in a Sarah J. Maas book. Prepare for chaos.
• C: You’re an Evangeline Fox. Have fun with your bad choices (and very attractive enemies).

Mistakes Were Made (But That’s Why We Love Them)

Let’s be honest, bad choices make the best fantasy novels. We love Evangeline because she’s hopeful, reckless, and refuses to let fate control her story. Sure, she makes mistakes (who hasn’t accidentally entangled themselves with a legendary trickster prince?), but that’s what makes her journey so thrilling (source: Barnes & Noble).

So here’s to impulsive heroines, wicked princes, and the magical bargains that ruin everything in the best possible way.

Brb, off to re-read all the Jacks scenes. For research. Obviously.